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Questions to Ponder


  1. If aliens are intelligent enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the least intelligent people on Earth?
  2. Why is it that when you talk to God you're praying, but when he talk to you, you're crazy?
  3. About your neighbor who has a treadmill - and a riding lawn mower?
  4. How much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there?
  5. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
  6. How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been diss-ing them anyhow?
  7. Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
  8. If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
  9. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
  10. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
  11. Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
  12. Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
  13. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
  14. If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
  15. What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
  16. When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
  17. Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
  18. Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
  19. Why is it that when you tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, he'll believe you. But when you tell him a bench has wet paint, he has to touch it?
  20. If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
  21. Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
  22. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  23. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
  24. What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
  25. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?